Religion & Homosexuality

Ok - so I was hoping to blog more before getting into the real controversial issues.  Since the Supreme Court should be releasing its decisions on Hollingsworth v. Perry as well as United States v. Windsor tomorrow, I figured this would be a timely issue.  For those who may not know, both cases touch on same sex marriage.  I will talk about the details of these cases tomorrow in a follow-up about the Supreme Court's decision.  Now perhaps you are wondering why I am discussing same sex marriage in a religion blog.  It is simple - without the conservatively religious, there would be very little opposition to same sex marriage. 

As I see it, the argument against same-sex marriage is coming from people who do not believe that their religion permits it.  I remember having dinner with a friend a couple of years ago, who honestly is more open than most, and we were discussing the subject of same-sex marriage.  She said, "I'm not homophobic and I think they deserve rights but can't we just call it something else?  Does it have to be 'marriage'"?  I remember responding to her by asking that if she was in love with a woman and wanted to have a ceremony to celebrate that love, how she would feel if society wanted to label that union as something they viewed as other.  Wouldn't that make you feel unaccepted by your own government?  A different label is just a screen behind which society can hide their own prejudices.  My friend said she had never thought about it that way and that it made sense...that perhaps granting marriage rights for everyone would be the fair thing.  These are the types of conversations I love - where I can have a candid discussion with someone.  I have been having these types of discussions for the last 13 years and something I have always thought about is how my religion and my belief in the rights of same sex couples can coincide. 

The answer for me is a simple one: love, justice and equality.  I believe in these three passionately.  What I have always taken from the Bible are the stories of kindness.  I have always believed that religion gave people a set of morals with which to live by and my hope is that those morals would make us better.  When people use their beliefs to oppress, humiliate, alienate and discriminate against others, I feel sorry for them because they live such a  life devoid of empathy or kindness.  Showing kindness towards people who are exactly like you is no great feat.  It shows greater strength of character if you can extend that helping hand to someone who you may not agree with but needs a friend. 
One of my favorite quotes on the matter comes from Dawson's Creek (yes, yes I know but stay with me). 
I always loved Grams - the strict grandmother of Jen Lindley who was a devout Christian.  At one point, Jen's boyfriend at the time is criticizing Jack, a young man who is wrestling with his sexuality.  Grams speaks up saying "If Jack is gay, he does not need your judgment young man.  The Lord above will be the one to judge him, as he will all of us.  What he needs from you, from me, from everyone else in this world is love and tolerance.  If anything, that boy must feel scared and alone and he will need the understanding of his fellow man to help him through this.  But save judgment for someone much more experienced than you."

I will not ask those who truly see homosexuality as a sin to change their mind.  Don't get me wrong - I may engage you in conversation around it but at the end of the day, you have ever right to hold to your beliefs even if I do not agree with them.  What I do ask however is that you do not deny others the right to get married and enjoy in the benefits that come from that marriage simply because of ignorance or fear.  You cannot stop homosexuality - people will be attracted to and will love who they love.  To deny them the right to be married is simply spiteful.  I am not asking that churches perform marriages for same sex couples - each church has the right to conduct its own affairs and to decide what its beliefs are.  But these cases currently revolve around the government and same sex marriage.  It is appalling to me that anyone would lobby to prohibit two people who wish to celebrate and express their love through civil marriage.  And aren't churches always pushing for couples to be married and not engage in premarital sex anyway?  But enough on this - I hope to delve into homosexuality and the Bible in greater detail in the future.  For now I wish to focus on these two particular cases. 

It is my hope that tomorrow Windsor's claim will be upheld.  Also, nothing would please me more than if the LGBT community could claim either intermediate or strict scrutiny in cases such as these going forward.  I realize that the Supreme Court could address both cases merely on standing issues but it is my hope that at least with Windsor, it will not.  If tomorrow proves to be a further uphill battle on these matters, I would just ask my fellow Christians to be true Christians and to save their judgment for someone else and open their hearts and minds to their LGBT brethren.